trader joes artist

just wing’n some wine signs

| sandrews

Another episode of,

“make that sign up as you go, just do it fast.”

Yes, I have for you here today-  some wine signs:

“Wish Flower” and “B by Fonta-blahblah”.

Wish Flower…whatever, cute name.

Looks like as much thought went into the label design as my endcap sign,

same goes for “b-da-blahblah”.

Oh…I have some wine name ideas!

Let me have a go at this:

“Pbthhhhh by Remember-to Wype”  Red Blend

or

“PRE-10-CHUS”  sparkling  white… crap…in little juice boxes.

Oh how fun is that???  6 pack juice box wine!

Give to all those “self-proclaimed hot girls” on Instagram to take selfies with.

So much fun.

Make a wish! har-har….and add some doodle-mess around the word ’cause I

have no time to catch a clue.

cardboard to the rescue…

| sandrews

Quick….we just pulled an “international food” display idea out of our ass and need signs!!!

yeah….got some “blur” going on in these pictures…oh, well.

I used a utility knife to cut these out…not optimal but was available at the time.

A sharp blade is key, but just as important is to cut at a bevel so the blade slides easily.

You can see in the last picture (“a taste of”) I made as an “after-thought” and cut it out with a “deckle- edge” because it was faster to do.)

End of the year Endcaps

| sandrews

The bottle of this wine has some really pathetic little green sausage looking “ground hog”….no wait…its a guinea pig…yeah…

My boss comes by and humors himself…

“Hey, don’t you think it would be fun to draw the little guinea pig?”

(me) “No….why do I want to waste anytime replicating that deranged little illustration!”

(Boss) “Well If it were me, it would be fun.!

(Me) “your irritating me….go away!”

I thought to myself….why not….why not scribble out my own version of a fat little green rodent.

AND…its gonna be dancing with a bottle of this simple-ass packaged wine.

So here it is…..my Guinea Pig who looks like a bottom heavy ferret.

Yup…Holiday items selling so fast that we don’t even need to put up the sign anymore….another endcap that will sit on the bleachers till next year….maybe….who cares.

oooooooh…what a fun name….like my name but it can’t shut up.

Some Autumn Signage

| sandrews

Little story time in here:

also…notice my little green arrow…that is the extent of my graphic skills…I’m so proud of it.

My work area is in the breakroom these days.

I guess other TJ sign artist that 

have their work space next to the bailer or 

some other armpit or crotch area of the store…would be jealous.

OOOOO…but don’t get too envious my fellow “Sign Rushers” 

….as the smells of the grease trap, and random basement funk 

envelope thee senses…just like in your work areas.

One of the diamonds I love about working in the breakroom is 

all the bullshyt talk from my co-workers.

All come and interrupt me with their comments, 

yelping, blowing up fish meals in the microwave and 

asking me how to use the air fryer.

(I don’t fnuking know….why does this place need an air-fryer for fnuk sake….these baffoons are gonna brake it by Tuesday.)

Oh, here’s another little trivia gem.

Did you know that one out of three Trader Joe’s employees

 eat with their mouth open.

Yup…shoooooor do!

When I was trying to put some effort into this particular sign,

“Jim’s” finger comes in front of my face and

points to my “vegetables” that are in the background.

“WHAT ARE THOSE ???…

 (yes this mental patient talks like that…yells everything)…

THEY DON’T LOOK LIKE ANYTHING….WHY ARE YOU MAKING 

NON-VEGETABLES???”

So to shut him the fnuk up

 I deliberately write on the non-vegetables… “I don’t know what this is” 

Really I do know, I know I needed to fill up the composition with some other elements that I didn’t want to put effort into. I wanted them to be dull, go with the rest of the crap and sit in the background…

He was tickled I wrote on my vegetables and waddled away as he chewed on his block of cheese.

by the way, his name is not really Jim but he does chew on blocks of cheese.

I was thinking about just leaving the little comment…

but covered it and kept it professional.

I could have left it because my guess is 1 out of 1000 customers notice there are signs in the store.